Of the Mashi s and Pishi s

Bengalis, herein-after referred to as ‘Bongs’ (no offence meant; it’s just a term of endearment and of course it does make typing easier) are blessed with a language that is not only evolved and evocative but also sweet to the ears. And Bongs have taken this sweetness a step further with their veritable thesaurus of terms for blood relations. Let me elaborate.

While boring old English refers to the all types of aunts, uncles, nephews and nieces as simply aunts, uncles, nephews and nieces, Bongs have different forms of address for the different kinds of aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces and all other sundry relations that can exist in a family. I am personally blessed with loads of uncles and aunts, both on my mother's and father's sides and I have different names of address for each one of them. Pan India (barring a few variations) one’s mother’s sister is a ‘Mousi/Mashi/Masi and brother a ‘Mama’, one’s father’s brother a Chacha/Kaku and sister a ‘Bua/Pishi’. Now this is ok provided you have one, or at the most two of each. What happens, if like me, you have about half a dozen of each on either side? Now addressing elders by their names is an anathema in India; hence to avoid the ensuing confusion and ‘Comedy of Error’ that is likely to arise if one had to address all aunts simply as ‘Aunt’ or all uncles as plain ‘Uncle’, Bongs have evolved this unique system of nomenclature, which though not quite standardised, has proved to be a useful working system.

Let me explain. Take my Masis (or as in Bong ‘Mashi’): as I have four of them, I address them as Boro (eldest) Mashi, Mejo (the second) Mashi, Shejo (the third) Mashi and Choto (the youngest) Mashi. But the issue doesn’t end there. All Shejos i.e. the third sibling, especially women, for some obscure reason don’t like being a ‘Shejo’. So I have been instructed to address her as ‘Phul’ Mashi, the ‘phul’ meaning ‘flower’ (and not ‘full’ and definitely not ‘fool’, in case you were thinking so). I have still not met my Phul Mashi as she lives in another country and as a child, because of the Phul before her name, I would actually visualise her as this forest nymph decked in flowery tiaras with long strings of blossoms trailing down her waist length hair! And for the record, I also have a ‘Phul’ Mama; but I must confess that even as a child, I could never quite bring myself to visualise him with flowers in his hair. He is pretty active on the World Wide Web now and I think when he reads this, he would be grateful to me for this little courtesy.

My Shejo Pishi also did not like to called a ‘Shejo’; so I had to address her as Choto (youngest) Pishi. Now that created a problem because it meant that the real youngest Pishi now had her bona-fide name usurped. So I was instructed to refer to her as “Mishti’ (Sweet) Pishi; this subtle flattery helping to keep her in good humour and cleverly averting a potential sibling war.

For the fourth in line, Bongs have another colourful term, “Ranga” i.e. ‘vibrant’ or ‘Colourful’. Now unfortunately because my mother has only four sisters, I do not have a ‘Colourful’ Mashi; but because my father has five sisters, I do have a ‘Colourful’ Pishi. And true to her name, she is a rainbow hued personality, the perfect ‘Ranga’. In stark contrast, my Ranga Mama is a rather quiet person, the picture of sobriety and very very unlike his name.

As for the ‘Chachas’ or ‘Kakus’ i.e. ones father’s brothers: the rule is simple. In case the brother is older to your Dad, he is to be addressed as Jethu i.e. ‘Boro Jethu’, ‘Mejo Jethu’ and so on and so forth. In case, he is younger to your Dad, you call him ‘Boro Kaku’, ‘Mejo Kaku’ etc. The only corruption of this rule is with respect to the ‘Choto Kakus’. This poor chap has often to bear the ignominy of being called ‘Chotka’, an abbreviated form of ‘Choto-Kaku’, this license being taken because of him being the youngest and therefore unlikely to throw his weight around his nephews and nieces over a name.  

With the two-child norm now firmly in place in generally all Bong households, the need for this nomenclature system is fast disappearing. Most present day Bong families have usually one or two kids, rarely three (sometimes even none) and the ‘ranga’s, ‘phul’s and ‘choto’s are fading from the collective Bong consciousness. I know that the sacrifice of a few  ‘ranga’ , ‘phul’ and ‘choto’ on the altar of population control is the necessity of our times, but one does feel a little nostalgic for them.  And then when our nephew addresses Other Half ( who by the way is his ‘Boro Jethu’) as ‘Boss’, I can only echo Dylan ‘...the times they are a-changin....’!