बार बार vs barbers

In the Armed Forces, we carry out medical examinations for cooks and barbers every month to exclude infectious diseases that they may pass on through the food they handle or in the case of barbers, through the practice of their trade. Now, the medical examination of cooks requires a stool test while that for barbers entails a general examination to rule out infectious diseases, mainly of the skin. No stool test is required for them.

Recently, cooks have  been renamed 'Chefs' and barbers renamed 'Dressers', though most staff still refer to them as cooks and barbers.

Generally there's a rush in the OPD and that day about 15 - 20 such staff landed up at my clinic for their monthly medical examinations.

I was that day, for some unrelated reason, in a not-so-benign mood. Anyway when these boys queued up before me, as a matter of routine procedure, I asked them for their stool examination reports.

One of them replied in a heavily accented tongue, "Madam,  बार बार.....!"

 "What do you mean 'बार बार'? I declared incensed, "Don't you know,  जितना बार medical examination होगा ,  utna बार stool test करना पड़ेगा......"

Our fauji boys are the sweetest, blessed with infinite patience.

The chap said again, with the same unfazed humility, "Madam, बार बार।"

But Madam was in the foulest of moods and in no frame of mind to listen or pause or ponder.

"Nonsense!" I declared. "I don't care kitna 'बार', bring your stool test report; only then will I declare you fit."

The rejoinder was again very gentle, tinged with an enviably patient understanding of their Madam's bad mood,
"Madam, बार बार!"

I was going to erupt into another outburst, when my medical assistant, well accustomed to Madam's hoity-toity-high-horse moods decided it was time to intervene.
He stepped forward and said firmly, "Madam, BARBER, dresser!!!!!!"

Realization hit right in the solar plexus, throwing me off my high horse.

Of course, 'BARBER' and NOT बार बार!!!!

While the poor fellow was trying to tell me that he was a barber and hence that the damned stool test was not required, I had misconstrued, thinking he was simply being cheeky and was counter-arguing that getting a stool examination 'बार बार' was a waste....

My bloated ego well and truly punctured, I completed their examination accompanied by a sheepish pin-drop silence.

And as for my damaged ego, it was quite some time before it healed since this incident.