The Little Friend confided, 'I'm in love!'
Her eyes shone, the single ectopic dimple high up on her cheek-bone twinkled and her face flushed with a faint pink lustre.
Love is such a delicious thing that even my jaded old self found itself filling up with excitement at her shy joy.
But the thrill was short-lived.
Life nowadays is lived on WhatsApp it seems, for soon I received a sad message: 'I texted him my feelings.
And he said No!
He was very polite. But very firm!'
The joy had left her being.
'Young people!' I shook my head and texted back,
" वो नहीं तो कोइ और सही....
कोई और नहीं, तो कोई और सही...."
Then, just as I finished thumbing the send button, I felt Ms PnP stir within me. (Ms PnP: Ms Prim n Propah. You may like to refer to an old post of mine called 'A Walk to Work' for a detailed introduction to her)
'That,' she admonished, 'was an extremely inappropriate response. Does not befit your position in the Little Friend's life as an Elder, a wise confidante!"
Ms PnP has taken to wearing makeup these days and though I thought she looked rather dishy with MAC's Girl About Town glimmering on her pout and a Bobbi Brown shadow shimmering on her brows, the look in her eyes dissuaded me from uttering anything of the sort right at this moment.
"Would you have said the same thing, reacted in the same way if she were your sister? Or your daughter?"
If I had thought that the MAC on her lips and that Bobbi Brown in her eyes made Ms PnP any less wise, those thoughts now silently slunk away, tail between legs. Ms PnP was right. As always.
Egged on by Ms PnP, I was compelled to ask myself: If she had been mine own, would I have reacted in such a flippant manner? Would I have been so casual, so dismissive of the young girl's feelings?
Definitely not!
Instead, I would have been worried sick, anxious, scared......What is she going through just now? How depressed is she? Suppose she stops eating? What if she is unable to study and prepare for her exams? What if she becomes a rebel? Anti establishment? Gets drunk? Does drugs? Gets into a relationship with a goonda/ druggie/hippie/married man on the rebound? Contemplates ending her life? Feels rejected? Begins to believe that she is a failure? A good-for-nothing?
What if she closes her mind to Love?
What if she stops believing that it exists?
GOOD LORD!!!!!!
No, definitely I wouldn't have stopped at the afore-quoted daft ditty. I would have given her a whole treatise on Love, Aibee's take on it. And hoped it would help her cope.
And it would have been something like this:-
Aibees's Treatise on Love
I'll be very methodical here, unlike my usual bedraggled posts. That's because this subject is a difficult one and the only way to keep on a coherent course is to be objective and methodical. 'Order and Method', a la my favourite detective with the egg shaped head, Poirot!
So beginning at the very beginning ( 'a very good place to start')......the First Question that arises, goes like this:
Is there really something called Love?
A tough, tough question to answer and if I'm not careful here, I might just find myself in a swamp, being quick-sanded in.....
Is there a God? If you believe there is, then there is, for you. Similarly, if you believe in love, then it is there, for you. Believing in God is a good thing too for she/ he/ it inspires us to be good humans and also is our crutch in crisis. The same goes for Love. Being in love brings out the good in us (at least, it should) and if reciprocated, gives us a willing, empathetic shoulder to lean on.
The Second Question asks : why do we fall in love?
Why indeed? I do not know the answer to this one. All I know is that Love has its own reason that obeys no mortal law, follows no mortal rule, defies any mortal attempt to decipher it; dancing its own crazy dance to some old, forgotten melody that only the soul can recognise. Love happens anytime, anywhere, anyhow and belies all human boundaries: of gender, of age, of creed, of reason....I think I should leave it that....!
But there's a small point I'd like to add. Because Love is like this mad mountain stream hurtling down the hill side at breakneck speed, consumed in its need to immerse into the sea, I would advice that one frame one's own rules for Love. This would help reign in this wild emotion and give it some semblance of earthly order. And while each one should make their own rules, I could give you a starting point:
Rule Number One: Love cannot and should not be forced down someone's throat.
Rule Numbet Two: If Love threatens to cause someone (anyone) hurt, drop it like a bag of hot coals and run for your life!
The Third Question which can be called an offshoot of the second, runs thus: What is it that we fall in love with?
This one's my favourite for it lets me meander, something I love to do ( with a tendency to lose myself if I'm not careful). So why do we fall in love? Is it because of 'kitna sona tujhe rab ne banaya', the physical beauty of the other? Is it because she has flawless skin, Meenakshi eyes, a sensuous body and is, simply put, gorgeous? Is it because he is tall and dark (or in the case of us Indians, fair) and handsome? Maybe. A person who is easy on the eyes definitely catches attention. I too would be partial to Brad Pitt if he ever lands up in my office. But over years that have turned my black hair gray and my gray cells wise, I've realised that one can fall in love with such varied things, a laughter that comes ready and deep from the soul, the kindness of voice that is coloured with concern for those in need, an unadulterated passion for one's profession, honesty, neatness of person and manners, the ability to listen, to find humour, to be without malice, to see the good in people and situations, to love life and to treat all that it brings with equanimity......
I could go on and on............But that would be purposeless for you would have by now, got the general drift of what I'm trying to convey....!
But that doesn't mean one falls in love only with virtues. One could fall in love with quirky things too: like the curve of the lips in a smile, the crinkle of the eyes in laughter, the faint gentle amusement edging a voice, a dimple, a firmness of carriage, maybe with a quiet blue shirt in a sea of loud attires or perhaps with eyes that look straight down yours and don't falter.....I think I'd better stop for I've begun meandering!
Let's move on to the Fourth Question: how would you know whether you are in Love?
This one's very simple. Ever waited in line with a saal leaf platter in your hands at your turn for a puchhka (that's golgappa/ paanipur for the Northies) ? Remember the quiver of excitement, the shiver of impatience, the tingle of expectation and then the waves of pure ecstasy that bathe you when you place the first puchka into your mouth....Well, if you happen to get a similar kind of feeling when in the presence of another being, know that you are In Love. And if you haven't, go try a puchhka first (the Bihari/Bengali version and not the Delhi one)!
And what if that someone tells you a 'polite and firm No'? That is our Fifth and Final question.
I am currently in Ahmedabad. It's hot and humid and horrible. But I have some work to do, some shopping and of course a rendezvous with an old friend. I just cannot let this heat get me and keep me jailed indoors. And so, in spite of being a comfort-loving lazy bum, I slather on sunscreen, guzzle a litre of water, don a cap and opening my umbrella step out into the sun to face the city and Life.
I like to think of Love as the weather around us. The weather exists around us in varied forms; at times, like today in this city, hot and humid, at other times cool and breezy, at still others, a raging stormy night. But do we humans really let the weather rule our lives? It might influence our routine just a little but at no juncture can it be said to rule it or define our day. Love should be treated just like that: a phenomenon that runs parallel to our existence, allowed to crossover when it brings promise of an azure skied autumn or a blossom scented spring but kept at bay if all it carries are hailstorms and the bite of icy winds. And finally, one must never forget that however searing the summer is, the rains will follow......
I'm going to end now ( a little abruptly, I agree) but if you happen to think of Questions Six or Seven or more, do leave it as a comment in the comment box below!
.
PS: I think I'll send this to my Little Friend!
Her eyes shone, the single ectopic dimple high up on her cheek-bone twinkled and her face flushed with a faint pink lustre.
Love is such a delicious thing that even my jaded old self found itself filling up with excitement at her shy joy.
But the thrill was short-lived.
Life nowadays is lived on WhatsApp it seems, for soon I received a sad message: 'I texted him my feelings.
And he said No!
He was very polite. But very firm!'
The joy had left her being.
'Young people!' I shook my head and texted back,
" वो नहीं तो कोइ और सही....
कोई और नहीं, तो कोई और सही...."
Then, just as I finished thumbing the send button, I felt Ms PnP stir within me. (Ms PnP: Ms Prim n Propah. You may like to refer to an old post of mine called 'A Walk to Work' for a detailed introduction to her)
'That,' she admonished, 'was an extremely inappropriate response. Does not befit your position in the Little Friend's life as an Elder, a wise confidante!"
Ms PnP has taken to wearing makeup these days and though I thought she looked rather dishy with MAC's Girl About Town glimmering on her pout and a Bobbi Brown shadow shimmering on her brows, the look in her eyes dissuaded me from uttering anything of the sort right at this moment.
"Would you have said the same thing, reacted in the same way if she were your sister? Or your daughter?"
If I had thought that the MAC on her lips and that Bobbi Brown in her eyes made Ms PnP any less wise, those thoughts now silently slunk away, tail between legs. Ms PnP was right. As always.
Egged on by Ms PnP, I was compelled to ask myself: If she had been mine own, would I have reacted in such a flippant manner? Would I have been so casual, so dismissive of the young girl's feelings?
Definitely not!
Instead, I would have been worried sick, anxious, scared......What is she going through just now? How depressed is she? Suppose she stops eating? What if she is unable to study and prepare for her exams? What if she becomes a rebel? Anti establishment? Gets drunk? Does drugs? Gets into a relationship with a goonda/ druggie/hippie/married man on the rebound? Contemplates ending her life? Feels rejected? Begins to believe that she is a failure? A good-for-nothing?
What if she closes her mind to Love?
What if she stops believing that it exists?
GOOD LORD!!!!!!
No, definitely I wouldn't have stopped at the afore-quoted daft ditty. I would have given her a whole treatise on Love, Aibee's take on it. And hoped it would help her cope.
And it would have been something like this:-
Aibees's Treatise on Love
I'll be very methodical here, unlike my usual bedraggled posts. That's because this subject is a difficult one and the only way to keep on a coherent course is to be objective and methodical. 'Order and Method', a la my favourite detective with the egg shaped head, Poirot!
So beginning at the very beginning ( 'a very good place to start')......the First Question that arises, goes like this:
Is there really something called Love?
A tough, tough question to answer and if I'm not careful here, I might just find myself in a swamp, being quick-sanded in.....
Is there a God? If you believe there is, then there is, for you. Similarly, if you believe in love, then it is there, for you. Believing in God is a good thing too for she/ he/ it inspires us to be good humans and also is our crutch in crisis. The same goes for Love. Being in love brings out the good in us (at least, it should) and if reciprocated, gives us a willing, empathetic shoulder to lean on.
The Second Question asks : why do we fall in love?
Why indeed? I do not know the answer to this one. All I know is that Love has its own reason that obeys no mortal law, follows no mortal rule, defies any mortal attempt to decipher it; dancing its own crazy dance to some old, forgotten melody that only the soul can recognise. Love happens anytime, anywhere, anyhow and belies all human boundaries: of gender, of age, of creed, of reason....I think I should leave it that....!
But there's a small point I'd like to add. Because Love is like this mad mountain stream hurtling down the hill side at breakneck speed, consumed in its need to immerse into the sea, I would advice that one frame one's own rules for Love. This would help reign in this wild emotion and give it some semblance of earthly order. And while each one should make their own rules, I could give you a starting point:
Rule Number One: Love cannot and should not be forced down someone's throat.
Rule Numbet Two: If Love threatens to cause someone (anyone) hurt, drop it like a bag of hot coals and run for your life!
The Third Question which can be called an offshoot of the second, runs thus: What is it that we fall in love with?
This one's my favourite for it lets me meander, something I love to do ( with a tendency to lose myself if I'm not careful). So why do we fall in love? Is it because of 'kitna sona tujhe rab ne banaya', the physical beauty of the other? Is it because she has flawless skin, Meenakshi eyes, a sensuous body and is, simply put, gorgeous? Is it because he is tall and dark (or in the case of us Indians, fair) and handsome? Maybe. A person who is easy on the eyes definitely catches attention. I too would be partial to Brad Pitt if he ever lands up in my office. But over years that have turned my black hair gray and my gray cells wise, I've realised that one can fall in love with such varied things, a laughter that comes ready and deep from the soul, the kindness of voice that is coloured with concern for those in need, an unadulterated passion for one's profession, honesty, neatness of person and manners, the ability to listen, to find humour, to be without malice, to see the good in people and situations, to love life and to treat all that it brings with equanimity......
I could go on and on............But that would be purposeless for you would have by now, got the general drift of what I'm trying to convey....!
But that doesn't mean one falls in love only with virtues. One could fall in love with quirky things too: like the curve of the lips in a smile, the crinkle of the eyes in laughter, the faint gentle amusement edging a voice, a dimple, a firmness of carriage, maybe with a quiet blue shirt in a sea of loud attires or perhaps with eyes that look straight down yours and don't falter.....I think I'd better stop for I've begun meandering!
Let's move on to the Fourth Question: how would you know whether you are in Love?
This one's very simple. Ever waited in line with a saal leaf platter in your hands at your turn for a puchhka (that's golgappa/ paanipur for the Northies) ? Remember the quiver of excitement, the shiver of impatience, the tingle of expectation and then the waves of pure ecstasy that bathe you when you place the first puchka into your mouth....Well, if you happen to get a similar kind of feeling when in the presence of another being, know that you are In Love. And if you haven't, go try a puchhka first (the Bihari/Bengali version and not the Delhi one)!
And what if that someone tells you a 'polite and firm No'? That is our Fifth and Final question.
I am currently in Ahmedabad. It's hot and humid and horrible. But I have some work to do, some shopping and of course a rendezvous with an old friend. I just cannot let this heat get me and keep me jailed indoors. And so, in spite of being a comfort-loving lazy bum, I slather on sunscreen, guzzle a litre of water, don a cap and opening my umbrella step out into the sun to face the city and Life.
I like to think of Love as the weather around us. The weather exists around us in varied forms; at times, like today in this city, hot and humid, at other times cool and breezy, at still others, a raging stormy night. But do we humans really let the weather rule our lives? It might influence our routine just a little but at no juncture can it be said to rule it or define our day. Love should be treated just like that: a phenomenon that runs parallel to our existence, allowed to crossover when it brings promise of an azure skied autumn or a blossom scented spring but kept at bay if all it carries are hailstorms and the bite of icy winds. And finally, one must never forget that however searing the summer is, the rains will follow......
I'm going to end now ( a little abruptly, I agree) but if you happen to think of Questions Six or Seven or more, do leave it as a comment in the comment box below!
PS: I think I'll send this to my Little Friend!
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