Combat Medical Humour

A senior army general was inspecting a military hospital. The General was a seasoned infantry man, a die-hard soldier. He knew everything there was to know about guns and battle but nothing at all about doctors and hospitals. But he respected doctors, especially the military doctors who worked in difficult combat situations and were responsible for saving the lives of countless war-wounded and ill soldiers. He sincerely wanted to do something beneficial for the hospital, something that would improve their working conditions and the quality of care meted out to patients. That day, as he moved from one bed to another, the senior doctor who accompanied him kept him briefed of the malady afflicting the patients and the treatment being carried out. Luckily, this doctor had an engaging style of conversation and because he explained difficult medical issues simply, the General was not at all bored.  Instead, he found himself quite enjoying the briefing and was soon telling himself that Medicine was a pretty logical thing and not at all the difficult subject he had thought it to be. As they moved from patient to patient, the General actually found himself engaged in an animated discussion of medicine. Towards the end of the tour, the doctor showed the General a few Electrocardiograms (ECG). The General was pretty intrigued by the weird squiggle like graphs, some large, some small, that looked for all the world like ancient Sumerian writings. He enquired of the doctor, "Doc , why are the ECGs of some of your patients large and for the others, they are small?"
The elderly doctor explained patiently, "Oh, that is due to voltage differences......"
The General was elated that he had finally found that something where he could be of assistance to hospital.
He gestured to his Aide de Camp, "Please ensure that brand new voltage stabilisers are placed at each patient's bed by today evening. We cannot have such petty things as voltages playing havoc with crucial things like the size of ECGs...!"

PS
( For my non doctor readers)
Electrocardiography (ECG) is the process of recording the electrical activity of the heart over a period of time using electrodes placed on the skin. These electrodes detect the tiny electrical changes that arise from the heart muscle's electrophysiologic pattern of depolarizing and repolarizing during each heartbeat. The overall magnitude of the heart's electrical potential (voltage) is then measured from twelve different angles ("leads") and is recorded over a period of time. The difference in amplitude ( voltage) occurs due to the normal differences between individuals and also due to the particular disease they are suffering from.